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Kelly Welles

sports fiend, news junkie, writer/editor footballramble.com, ex-kickette staffer, caffeine worshipper. bad hats and osiris hi-tops a specialty. oh, and most definitely not a porn star, in case you've been googling.

Geordie Shore: Life Imitating Arse Imitating Life

How long can this go on for?

This question occurred to me at some point during the third episode of Series 12 of Geordie Shore and I’ll be honest with you, distracted me from the rest of the ‘action’ and the night’s sleep I felt I deserved.

Because, let’s face it, it could go on forever.

Continue reading “Geordie Shore: Life Imitating Arse Imitating Life”

The Apprentice: Well, since you ask…

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Donald Trump is creating a distraction.

He’s facing calls to abandon his bid to become US president from his own party after suggesting Muslims should be banned from entering the US. He recently alienated a huge proportion of voters by claiming Mexico is “sending rapists” to  America.

And, of course, there’s the hair.

Continue reading “The Apprentice: Well, since you ask…”

BBC3’s The Fear: Lifting the wig on the horror genre

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If one thing can be gleaned from watching BBC3’s recent supernatural talent show, ‘The Fear’, it’s that the intelligence required to make a truly decent horror film cannot be underestimated.

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Geordie Shore Oct 20: Acropolis Now

One doesn’t accidentally watch the new series of Geordie Shore.

It’s been on long enough, the exploits of the sexually incontinent (or in Charlotte Crosby’s case, literally incontinent) protagonists featured in the Daily Mail’s Sidebar of Shame frequently enough, for a plea of ignorance to be contemptuously dismissed.

You wanted this. You enjoy watching unconvincingly coiffed, fake tan smeared imbeciles binge drinking and arguing with their designated shag until someone smashes a decorative lampshade and gets bundled into a Beamer to cool off.

So do we. That’s why we’re all here.

Continue reading “Geordie Shore Oct 20: Acropolis Now”

The Valleys: Where Life Begins

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Oh god. What fresh hell is this? 

9408632-largeKelly’s forays into the murky underbelly of dramality television are not new. Natasha has repeatedly articulated her concerns over her esteemed colleague’s viewing habits, but initially she trusted her, accepting in good faith her explanation that the Jersey Shore thing was justified on the basis that it was at the forefront of a cultural zeitgeist involving the liberal use of confusion-avoidance lettering against colourful backdrops.

Natasha let it go. She shouldn’t have.

Continue reading “The Valleys: Where Life Begins”

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