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Made in Chelsea

Made in Chelsea – Ibiza: F**k your journey!

I adore Louise’s such obvious distaste for the Sam and Mimi situation. Hashtag big sister goals. As someone who has been there, done it and worn the t-shirt – she did date Spencer + Jamie – she can see the car crash coming a mile off.

Continue reading “Made in Chelsea – Ibiza: F**k your journey!”

Made in Chelsea – Ibiza: Same crap, different country

I can’t be the only one wondering how our richest reality TV stars would fare in the party capital of Ibiza.

But I think we all agree they are visiting a different part of the country than we are used to seeing splashed all over the tabloids every summer.

Continue reading “Made in Chelsea – Ibiza: Same crap, different country”

Made in Chelsea: Karma is a B****

I can’t help but feel like Frankie cheating on Jamie was merely his just desserts for all the cheating he’s done over the years. I always feel like if you’re cheating on your partner is because you don’t want to be with them, deep down. Just do the decent think and move on. For both of your sakes.

But much like Sam, I don’t take pleasure in it; I just ended up feeling sorry for the balding bleached bore. I mean once you look past money he isn’t exactly a catch and as the years go on, he doesn’t seem like he’s a lovely person. Although I imagine he’d be a good laugh on a night out.

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Made in Chelsea: Rosie explains it all

Those of you who know me well will know that I have never been Rosie’s biggest fan. It’s not that I don’t like her, I’ve just always found her a bit, well, blaeur. But one thing I’ve always respected is her honesty – except for the time she got with Hugo behind Millie’s back, but we won’t mention that.

And last night she was dropping truth bombs like Meek Mill calling out Drake. It may not have been nice to watch and it may have felt uncomfortable at times, but there’s a lot to be said for being upfront. And while I love Ollie, Rosie delivers it in her stoic and deadpan way, and it basically makes it all the more hard hitting.

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Made in Chelsea – South of France: Triangles, backgammon and other games

I thought this was Made in Chelsea, not Playa in Marbella…

I can’t keep up with the Chelsea lot. Who fancies who, who’s slept with who and who wants to sleep with whom. 

I mean is bloody hard to keep up when these lot swap partners like the rest of us swap lipsticks. So to recap… 

Francis has been hooking up with Toff, but he had a date with Olivia and they have a connection. 
Jamie is worth Frankie, but being the little scamp that he is, he thought it was cool to share his bed with two girls who aren’t his girlfriend. 

Alex is no longer with Nicola after dumping her via text, before sleeping with Liv days later. Neither of them wants a repeat performance but it appears as if he thought it was acceptable to flirt with Frankie. Yep, the girlfriend of his ‘best bois’. 

And Louise isn’t single but she isn’t with Alik, but she’s dating her personal trainer, but she was also flirting with the French graffiti artist. The personal trainer is is coming to visit her, but so is Alike. 

Ollie has realised that he is very and he’s dating a cutie who is, well, very cute. 

Sam and Tiff are happy and loved up and Jess is playing fashion guru / relationship advisor to everyone. 

I think that’s it, and I think that’s all. I could be wrong, because I’m hella confused! 

If you are too, the next episode is on Monday at 10pm on its usual channel, E4. 

Maybe by then I would’ve figured out what the hell is going on, coz right now I have zero idea. 

Made in Chelsea – South of France: Plowing, flirting and dropping bombs

For a girl whose family make exquisite cars, Liv Bentley sure has a trashy mouth. She was at it again this episode, as she described her dalliance with Alex in the same way I would expect Mummy Felstead to describe how she tends those countryside lawns! Although her partner in that night of crime wasn’t much better. I can’t decide if his dumping of long-term girlfriend Nicola by text was worse than the fact that he could barely remember ‘shagging’ Liv. 

Although he trumped himself wih the revelation that he’d been flirting wih Frankie behind best bud Jamie’s back. Although I have no idea why the blonde jester would be surprised, Mitten slept with his ex Tara within weeks of their break-up. His failure to keep his dick in his pants is well documented…

Meanwhile the returning Francis Boulle seems to be the most eligible bachelor in Cannes as he bedded Toff after arranging a date with Miss Bentley. Once again I suspect that our excitable blonde is going to get her heart broken again as we see her and Jess chastise Liv and Francis at the wine tasting. 

I don’t know what Boulle was digging for in Africa, but the boy certainly found some game. Two girls on the leash from a boy who struggled to get one back in the day. I’m surprised he hasn’t hit on Jess yet as they both do like a skateboard!

In better news The Blonde couple are not the ones having relationship problem -as yet. Sam and Tiff look suitably loved up and I have to say that the young Watson’s bikini game has been on point. If I could get her abs, I may give up carbs sometime this century.

It also looks like we’ve seen the end of Louise and Alik as she was flirting with a French graffiti artist before informing him that someone from London, who she was already dating, was coming to visit her. Do you remember the innocent, slightly topic Louise from the early series? Me too. I miss her…

Made in Chelsea: South of France returns to E4 on Monday at 10pm.

Made in Chelsea – The Aftermath

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In what has probably been my least favourite series of Tales from SW3 ™, I should’ve known I could rely on Mr Edwards to redress the balance with common sense, a few cutting lines and a seriously dapper outfit. Am I the only one that thinks he should really take Jamie shopping?

Continue reading “Made in Chelsea – The Aftermath”

Made in Chelsea: Yah, yah and nah

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When Marc-Francis Vandelli is the voice of relationship reason, we all know that there is some serious drama in the hearts of the SW3 faithful.

How else can you explain JP dumping Binky, even before he knew she had kissed someone else on a drunken night out? Of course, I’m not condoning her cheating but if you’ve read my posts before you know that I’ve never thought he was good enough for our Alexandra.

Continue reading “Made in Chelsea: Yah, yah and nah”

Made in Chelsea: Thompson tantrums and Laing’s latest indiscretion.

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Louise should be careful before people start calling her a holiday ligger. Cos we had her admitting she didn’t really like Steph, but went to the Maldives because it was the Maldives. And tonight she alluded to the fact she was only going to meet her long-distance love Alik because he was taking her to St. Barts.

I’ve never found Louise the most likable of girls and I think that stems from her cheating on Andy… and then Alik. But there seems to be a disease in the plush Thompson manor that means neither sibling is ever at fault for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault as to why they made the almighty eff-up in the first place. If I remember rightly, wasn’t it Sam’s cheating that started this whole drama? Maybe I should send Future Tasha ahead to figure that one out for me…

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I really feel like Sam should just give up the ghost and accept the fact that him and Lucy will never be the Tanya & Jack Branning of SW3. Because his need for an apology is getting a little bit needy. Like Lucy said; she’ll apologise for upsetting him, but not for being herself. And why would she?

But you have to love her apology, sorry clearly was the hardest word for Lucy to say as she didn’t use it once.
I genuinely love that girl!

Down by the river, we had Jamie getting his little boat stuck in the grass. Which felt like a euphemism for his love life. Poor Frankie is the latest victim and her face when Nicola shared the rumours was less surprise and more expectation. Let’s be frank, it’s only the fact that he’s this cheeky chappy that makes us dislike him less than Spencer.

But in all honesty, who can trust a man who dresses like this?

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I wouldn’t trust him with my phone charger, let alone my heart! But Frankie clearly has doubts otherwise she wouldn’t be talking about it so much. Oops, silly me. What other storyline does she have? And the man doth protest too much…

Talking of matters of the heart, what the hell is Richard’s problem? I’m all for a bit of geek chic but his glass rod is stock so far up his bum, he can’t seem to see that Toff is the perfect girl for him.

She’s everything he isn’t; fun, carefree and with an exuberance for life outside of a lecture theatre!
I understand his reservations, Toff took a while to grow on me as well. But as a scientist, he should understand how fungi works.

But Toff, if you want to go out and get smashed to get over him; the LWT team will gladly hold your hair while you vomit.

BEST LINE
Winner – James to Sam after he bawled out Lucy
“You angry little shit!”

Runner up – Fraser to Lucy about their first meeting
“They said; she’s cold, she’s a bitch…
I mean, you were…”

Made in Chelsea is on E4 at 9pm on Monday evenings.
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NH

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