For a girl whose family make exquisite cars, Liv Bentley sure has a trashy mouth. She was at it again this episode, as she described her dalliance with Alex in the same way I would expect Mummy Felstead to describe how she tends those countryside lawns! Although her partner in that night of crime wasn’t much better. I can’t decide if his dumping of long-term girlfriend Nicola by text was worse than the fact that he could barely remember ‘shagging’ Liv. 

Although he trumped himself wih the revelation that he’d been flirting wih Frankie behind best bud Jamie’s back. Although I have no idea why the blonde jester would be surprised, Mitten slept with his ex Tara within weeks of their break-up. His failure to keep his dick in his pants is well documented…

Meanwhile the returning Francis Boulle seems to be the most eligible bachelor in Cannes as he bedded Toff after arranging a date with Miss Bentley. Once again I suspect that our excitable blonde is going to get her heart broken again as we see her and Jess chastise Liv and Francis at the wine tasting. 

I don’t know what Boulle was digging for in Africa, but the boy certainly found some game. Two girls on the leash from a boy who struggled to get one back in the day. I’m surprised he hasn’t hit on Jess yet as they both do like a skateboard!

In better news The Blonde couple are not the ones having relationship problem -as yet. Sam and Tiff look suitably loved up and I have to say that the young Watson’s bikini game has been on point. If I could get her abs, I may give up carbs sometime this century.

It also looks like we’ve seen the end of Louise and Alik as she was flirting with a French graffiti artist before informing him that someone from London, who she was already dating, was coming to visit her. Do you remember the innocent, slightly topic Louise from the early series? Me too. I miss her…

Made in Chelsea: South of France returns to E4 on Monday at 10pm.

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