Before I go any further I must make sure that the world, well, our readers; know that not all females are as incapable at DIY as the girls in the villa. I, and most of the women I know are more than able to change fuses, wire plugs and knock up the best IKEA have to offer. Now we’ve got that out of the way…

How cute are Cara and Nathan? In a world of show-mances, I feel like these two could be the real deal. Two genuinely nice people who genuinely seem to like each other. I’m not saying they’re going to get married and fill a house with a bunch of ghetto Essex hybrid babies. But I also don’t think they’re gonna be sharing TMI in Star! next month, a la Jeremy and Steph.

I’m pretty sure we didn’t need to know that Nath…

And how cool is Nathan’s sister? Any girl that has dated a boy who is close to his sister knows the seal of arrival is vital. Trust me, it can make or break things.

While we’re talking good news, the #FlackIsBack tonight and not a moment too soon. Some of those contestants need a good talking to, with some of them acting like the immature brats that they are.

Which leads us perfectly onto Terry…

Ahh, Terry. Salting the game of tattooed Neanderthal scaffolders everywhere. We weren’t expecting him to take a vow of celibacy when Malin left the villa but I don’t even think her side of the bed was cold before Emma jumped into it, or her tongue into his mouth.

Talking of Emma, I can’t decide whether she’s playing a game or not but I’m not appreciating her actions. She’s watched the show but felt no way jumping into Malin’s grave, all the while deliberately winding Tom up by flirting excessively with Sophie. The way she is carrying on makes me pray that Malin returns just to see the – hopefully – awkward look all over her smug, conniving face.

Although I’m not sure she’ll actually be bothered as shame doesn’t seem to be in her vocabulary. Either way, one of Terry and Sophie will go home tonight; so if she had a game plan it has worked perfectly. It seems like the posh blondes in the house are cursed. After Zara’s boning, dethroning and homing; we’ve got Tina who can’t catch a break. After being bored to death by Adam she suffered the worst date in Love Island history with Troy. A boy so smug he would unwrap himself and eat it if he were a sweet. He’s the coffee Revel if you will. It looks good, it feels good in your hand, but when you pop it in your gob it’s the biggest disappointment ever! 

The arrival of the two new boys left Scott feeling smug after they both suggested Kady was the fittest girl in the villa, although that didn’t last long after she moaned about his choice of words during recoupling. 

You said it, Scott!

As much as their bickering annoyed me, at least they were interesting then. Right now they’re like a double dose of Nytol and I suspect Kady feels the same so an argument over not putting the lid on the toothpaste occur soon. 

So tonight the Flacky returns to dump one girl and one boy. I suspect Liana may be the girl because even if Adam can be boring, he’s pretty nice to look at. Plus we all know that many out there view strippers with suspicion. Which is funny, given they pay their taxes like the rest of us. 

If Sophie does go, it will be no surprise to see Tom use those skinny little legs of his to follow her. Sadly I won’t be upset, I never do trust a man who forgets leg day in the gym… 

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NH

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Love Island is on ITV2 every night at 9pm.

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