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It really is hard to keep up with our Islanders because ever time I switch on there are new faces and different pairings. But that continual potential for drama is probably why it’s getting it’s highest ratings, ever. That and the pared down responsibilities of Caroline Flack.

But firstly, we have to discuss Malia-Gate. I didn’t get a good vibe from her VT but she went into that house to cause drama, and that’s exactly what she did, although it backfired spectacularly. I was surprised how quickly they removed her. On Ex On the Beach, Angry Lewis caused three fights before being ejected. That said I’m not condoning what she did, and we should praise the makers when they try to prevent any violence. There is no need to put your hands on anyone.

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That said, Kady’s reaction to the whole situation was very Nikki Grahame. But without the charisma and childlike exuberance. This weird game of kiss-chase that her and Scott are playing could get boring awfully quickly. Do I think she spilled the drink deliberately? To be honest, I couldn’t care less!

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Especially after we had to watch them swapping tinned fruit mouth-to-mouth. If it was supposed to be sexy, it wasn’t.

The air hostess seems nice enough, but I don’t know if you can effectively declare how classy you are; when you’re in a bikini and about to enter Love Island…

Rykard definitely seems taken with her which could spell more trouble for Olivia, after she was dumped by Terry in favour of Malin. The blonde’s description of herself as ‘a bruised apple that no one wanted’, was surprisingly astute. She may find herself following Javi out of that door.

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To go with the two that came in on Day 2, we’ve ha another two girls and boys we have four boys – although only two of them will stay. Confused much? Me too!
So far three of our couples have had Sex and I’m not sure if that’s a lot or not many. Either way I’m kinda glad I don’t know.

Right now I’m liking fewer ‘stars’ than I dislike. Which is really annoying because they are actually creating a great guilty pleasure show. We’re not bombarded with it all year long, unlike Towie at times. Given it’s only on once a year, you would think they would have made a better selection of people. We’ve got Sophie + Tom, Malin + Terry and Cara + Nathan all loved up which is great, but bubblegum and fairytales is never good for viewer enjoyment.

We had Terry going on about the feelings he has for Malin. But to be honest I’m not sure if it’s love or hunger. The boy looks like he can eat.

Basically I need someone to go in there, mess stuff up, preach some home truths, drop the mic and walk out. Cami Lee style.

Come on ITV2, because after Tuesday’s live Big Brother Launch you may well be my only reality TV hope.

NOTE: At least until the start of Playa in Marbella, starring Elliott Wright.

Love Island is on ITV2 at 9pm or available at ITV Hub.

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