Now I’ve never met Lucy Watson, but I know one thing for sure; she hates people talking about her relationship. So when Stephanie started spilling all the tea to Jamie, I knew exactly where this episode was going. And then when she continued it with Tiff, Hurricane Watson was never going to be far away.

In fact this episode was a major fail for Chelsea’s second favourite Yank – Alik is obviously first.

Admittedly I fancy Alex Mytton as well, I mean, who wouldn’t. We’ve all seen the unstarred picture.


But I’m not friends with his girlfriend and I’m not going around telling all our mutual friends that I think he’s cute. But Steph can’t take all the blame, Jamie shares that prize with her tonight. That boy gossips more than any middle-aged woman I’ve ever met. He was quick to tell James about Steph’s comments regarding his relationship, and he reveled in winding up Alex.

But Steph needs to know that vocalising your attraction to someone else’s boyfriend is not acceptable. Particularly in the incestuous gossip hub that is SW3.

Even though JP finally told our Binky he loved her, I’m not totally convinced. Next he’ll be freaking out about moving in together, getting engaged and so on and so forth. His nerves and learning still has a long way to go.

Also another thing; you would think that with being a Bentley, Olivia could afford some buttons for her shirts so we’re not continually looking at her ribcage.

And Rosie is still dating her wardrobe.

Winner – Tiff to her dopey boyfriend: “Sam, I will fucking punch you.”

Runner up – The delectable James to the emotionally retarded JP: “Learn faster.”

Made in Chelsea is on E4 at 9pm on Monday nights.