“Love is in the air, la la la la la, love is in the air.”

Luckily for my neighbours my singing voice is more in tune than Dan, Diags and Lockie’s out-of-time rendition. It was bad, oh reality TV God’s it was bloody awful! Thankfully Dan and Lockie look good enough in uniform – sorry Diags – to forgive their pitiful X Factor audition

Also trying to ride the love plane were Angry and Dopey AKA Jake and Chloe. Never have a couple made me want to neuter the population like those two. Just move in together and procreate so no other unfortunate bugger has to listen to your coma-inducing mumbles.

Meanwhile in Georgia’s parents redonculous cinema room, Arg is waving his recently waxed eyebrows at Tommy and drowning himself in ice-cream. I fully believe there is a chapel in that mansion, and a vicar is coming to give Arg the last rites before a sympathetic vet puts that whimpering puppy dog down.

Elsewhere; the princess asked the pauper on a date. LewBloor showed the way to a girls heart is basketball, jewellery and seafood carbonara. Curiously it was the same thing Diags made for Fran last week…

In other news, I would love to know Carol, Debbie and Nanny Pat’s secret because must Essex clubs won’t let you in without the receipts for your boob job, Botox and fillers!

All in all it was a pretty quiet night in Essex. No big rows, no slanging matches and no sneaky back-chat.

It’s fair to say, I love you all a little more when you’re having agg.

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