You can always rely on our Essex fraternity to fill our heads with their relationship drama, and this episode had it in heavy supply.

I’ll start with Lydia and Arg because I imagine you’re as bored by them, as I am. Has it really been seven years they’ve been playing this tedious game, coz it feels like a lifetime for us viewers. And have you noticed they don’t have one of those silly couple names! Is that because the only natural one is ‘Large’?

So tonight we had Arg writing Lyds a soppy apology letter – again, Lyds crying – again, everyone telling Arg to give her space – again, and Debbie acting like it’s her marriage that is breaking up. Again!!!

The joke is we can all see what is, and always has been the problem with this union. Arg clearly doesn’t feel he’s good enough for Lydia, and from all the gossiping around Debbie’s table, everyone agrees with him. While he’s had his issues and I salute his strength to maintain his recovery, he doesn’t need a sponsor or a Mother. I’m presuming he has both of those. He needs a girlfriend, and until he doesn’t feel he has to lie about the silliest thing to ‘my Lyds’ we’ll continue to be bored by this never-ending storyline.

Someone I did have sympathy for was Pirate Pete. Rather than letting him take her on a proper date, Princess Jess made them gatecrash Fearne and Liam’s. Talk about the short straw for our favourite tattooed totty. I genuinely think if Gatsby looked like Pete, then the Princess would be picking out her wedding dress. Although she made a joke out of it, her description of them as ‘The Princess and the Stablehand’ felt like it was laced with a heavy dose of truth for her. I must admit that my heart went out to Pete when she pied him off, on camera AND in front of Fearne and Gatsby. I can’t help but feel she’s made a mistake because our Pirate seems like one of the only decent guys in Essex and he had the patience to deal with a girl who yells ‘high maintenance’ louder than Nanny Pat when she’s got the winning line at bingo’!

A quick note on Fearne and Gatsy – Fatsby, Fiam or Gearne? Anyway, I would hate to think that Fearne is just interested in his money, as seems to be the general social media consensus. I think it may be a little more than that, not everyone has to look like Brad Pitt people. Liam is hugely confident, as is Fearne, and I think she’s appreciating the fact that she’s met a guy who is not scared by that. He thrives on it and he’s clearly got enough ego for the both of them. But hey, we will see…

Was I the only one that thought that scene where Kate, Chloe and Nicole were having dinner was absolutely abysmal? Don’t get me wrong, they’re all attractive girls but the fact that only one of of the three of them was able to string a proper sentence together was deeply concerning for the future of the Essex economy. There are only so many boutiques and salons ex-cast members can open!

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