And they’re back, the rich kids with perfectly coiffed hair returned to our screens and judging by the weather; the sun stayed in Los Angeles.

One thing that hasn’t stayed in LA is the situation I have named J-Pinky (JP and Binky). Now I love Binky. She’s pretty, humble and real; but she has bloody awful taste in men. They may look good, but everytime she unwraps the present there is a lump of cheating coal there! Alex, Jamie, JP! Come on Binks, you are better than that. Channel some of Lucy’s confidence and Louise’s naughtiness and you would be fighting the boys off. But on a serious note, you deserve someone who feels privileged to be with you. I have a 13-yo cousin with more emotional maturity than JP!

On the positive side we have Lucy and James, who are going to have beautifully athletic brunette children one day. You can see the change in Miss Watson since she hooked up with the delectable Mr. Dunmore. She seems much more relaxed and a lot less angry. Plus, Jucy is definitely working for her judging by their pictures on Instagram.

Am I the only one bored of Spencer? I feel like he should do a Mark Wright and bow out gracefully. He actually brings diddley squat to the show, plus that hair and beard makes him look like a bear. And not the cute kind.

Jamie!
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie! What are you doing? Jess is just Phoebe with less eyeliner and the dress sense of a sixth-former! It’s clear he hasn’t learnt his lesson with getting attached to girls who clearly don’t see him as anything other than a stopgap.

You’ve got to feel sorry for Sam though. Got her initials tattooed on your arm, faced the father, and plucking up the courage to say the L-word. Then Tiff confesses to cheating on you! Give her another chance mate, lets be honest you’re are punching 😒

But disappointingly, nothing has changed since the last series and I kinda feel we need some fresh meat to spice things up.

If you think I’m wrong, here are some things that are the same from last series:

• Alex wearing something high-fashion and jeans that are far too tight

• Spencer moaning about Lauren’s clingy behaviour

• Sam Watson bring inappropriate and socially awkward

• Binky feeling hurt because of a guy

• Rosie doing, well, nothing. Except giving great ‘resting bitch face’.

• Mark and Victoria shopping.

They need to take a lesson from TOWIE and bring some new faces to the table.

While I’m glad to see Ollie back, we need some new drama and someone to come in and shake things up.

We need another: “Why is everyone up in my grill” moment.

Come on E4, get your game together. Monday nights are relying on you. 👆

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